Home Tia Alicia Otterness

TIA ALICIA My Tia Alicia died in April of 2005 in a late-night car collision. Her loss has changed my family and is still a source of great sorrow for all of us. I miss her. I wish she was still with us. The world, I think, wishes she was still with us. Her obituary (below) is very eloquent and captures much about why she meant so much to our family. My Tia lived her life in a way that was inspiring and humbling. There are angels walking among us. Alicia was one of them. All who knew her and of her work knew she was one of God's special people. She was born among the poor of Tijuana, and she immigrated to San Ysidro as an adolescent. She attended public schools in the South Bay and graduated from Mar Vista High School in the late sixties. She attended the University of California, San Diego and received her bachelor's degree. She met her soul-mate at UCSD and we married. Two years later our only child, Ana, was born. She spent the rest of her years as a devoted mother and spouse. She loved the movies and was an avid reader. Among many of her favorite movies were "Casablanca", "Black Orpheus" and "The Color of Paradise". Some of her favorite books were "One Hundred Years of Solitude", "The Life of Pi", and "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon". She loved happy endings, and sad endings made her feel depressed. She could frequently be found at the Border's Bookstore in El Cajon browsing through the latest books and magazines. She also loved to travel with her family. Once a year, we usually took a special trip to celebrate our anniversary. Among some of our favorite places were Costa Rica, the Grand Canyon, Zion and Yellowstone National Parks. She could spend hours sitting on the rim of the Grand Canyon and drinking in it's beauty and grandeur. She also loved the local desert, and we spent many weekends over the years at Anza-Borrego Desert State Park. She absolutely loved wildflowers, and this year was a special year for her with the great bloom resulting from the rains. She adored Mother Teresa, Mohandas Ghandi, Martin Luther King and Cesar Chavez. She disliked right-wing politicians, but seldom had a cross word to say about them. She detested gossip, and would gently change the subject whenever it occurred. She was against the death penalty and abortion, but would frequently play the devil's advocate and argue that there are monsters among us who do not deserve to live and that some children are better off not being born just to hear other people's views. She was the quintessential animal lover. She would save all table scraps and would feed them to the street dogs in Tijuana during her many trips there. Some of her friends who volunteered with her began following her example. She loved our dog Cinco de Mayo, and our cat Maxie. She contributed to PETA, the Humane Farming Association and the Humane Society, among others. She refused to kill spiders, and once tolerated a large spider that had built a web above her kitchen sink for several months. She became a vegetarian after reading about slaughter houses, but would eat meat only if it was offered by her friends so as not to offend them. When rattlesnakes were found around our home, we would place them in a container and release them at a local wildlife preserve. In early spring, she would provide nesting material around our home. As a result, we have numerous birds nesting on and around our home, including Anna's hummingbirds, cliff swallows, house wrens, spotted towhees, wrentits, California quail and others. She was a great cook, and one of my greatest joys was being greeted by the kitchen smells after a long day at work. I'm going to miss her green enchiladas and Mexican rice among many other delicious meals she would lovingly prepare. After our daughter began high-school, she began going to Tijuana to perform random acts of kindness for the poor and needy. She would always take a supply of toys and stop to give them to children. She got great joy from seeing their eyes light up when she would walk up to them and give them a doll or other small toy. Whenever we went on trips to Latin America or the Caribbean, she always took a supply of toys for the same purpose. These acts of kindness gradually began expanding. She would stop at construction projects and would load our pick-up with any usable pieces of scrap materials to take to the colonias in Tijuana, where many homes were little more than cardboard. Our friends would donate old bicycles which we would repair and take to the children in T.J. Our garage was continuously full of used clothes, small appliances, sewing machines and toys for her projects. She would never say no to anyone, and was continuously writing letters, filling out forms, taking people to appointments, picking up their medications, etc.,etc. She would have me bring in unused medication samples from the office, and would have them delivered to a free pharmacy in Mexico. I could go on and on about her activities. She encouraged me to volunteer. Recently I went to Peru on a medical mission sponsored by the Rotary Club of Chula Vista. Upon returning, I expressed the feeling that I felt our efforts had been somewhat futile, that problems were too overwhelming. She responded that no act of kindness was futile, and that even if I felt I had accomplished little, it was good for my soul. What wonderful insight. This past Monday evening, she was coming home late and drifted off to sleep at the wheel. She struck a semi truck head-on and was taken by God to a place where there is no misery. We are all missing her terribly. It is no exaggeration to say that every person that she touched was better because of her. We take solace in knowing that she is waiting for us. Her mothers Andrea and Paula, daughter Ana, sister Lupe, brother Miguel, nephew Gabriel, niece Martha, Aunt Toti, Tia Teresa, the rest of her large family, friends, Maxie, Cinco and especially me, her husband Frank, all have huge holes in our hearts which will never be refilled. Instead of contributions or flowers, Alicia would have preferred you to perform an act of kindness in her name. Smile at a stranger, hold a door open for someone, donate blood, anything. If you absolutely feel that you must do more, you may donate to the Nature Conservancy in her name. Their address is: Nature Conservancy attn: Treasury 4245 N. Fairfax Dr. Suite 100 Fairfax, VA 22203 Frank D. Cervantes, M.D. Tia Alicia gave me a book called "Earth Prayers" in the Christmas before she died. She had bought it for herself, but seeing that the book interested me she said I could have it. At her services I was able to read a poem from Nancy Wood from the book: A long time I have lived with you And now we must be going Separately to be together Perhaps I shall be the wind To blur your smooth waters So that you do not see your face too much Perhaps I shall be the star To guide your uncertain wings So that you have direction in the night Perhaps I shall be the fire To separate your thoughts So that you do not give up Perhaps I shall be the rain To open up the earth So that your seed may fall Perhaps I shall be the snow To let your blossoms sleep So that your may bloom in spring Perhaps I shall be the stream to play a song on the rock So that you are not alone Perhaps I shall be a new mountain So that you always have a home.